People at accident scenes

Place: Pune 
Time: Saturday night

My two friends and I were going for a dinner in Koregaon Park area, famous for it's richness, lifestyle, and small roads for its' huge traffic. My friend was driving the car.

We were going at decent speed. Just beside the divider, there was a small chip of stone lying around. Unfortunately, my friend couldn't see it and our car skidded on it, my friend lost her control over the car, and the car landed on the pile of divider rocks (which was there where the divider ended. And yes, in the middle of the road). Maybe divider work wasn't completed, maybe it was completed but constructor was too lazy to remove that pile of rocks. Who am I to blame anyone? :/

I was bit shocked and fuzzy. After getting hold of myself. I checked whether the ladies in the car were okay, they were. I got out of the car to analyze the situation. The car was supporting itself on it's both left wheels and pile of divider rocks (right side wheels in the air). Our car had blocked one of the two lanes in the direction which we were going towards. Because of this, traffic started getting jammed which invited the traffic cop who was doing his duty nearby. Rather than asking if everyone is okay, he quickly came to the point, how the accident happened? And can you move the car quickly out of the road so traffic continues? I was surprised and angry at the same time. But in India, you mind your language with Police officer (irrespective of whether you are right or wrong). 

Even after telling him that crane is on its way he told us to move the car aside quickly (and I really don't blame him for doing his duty, from his point of view it was a good call at that time #NoSarcasm). Few people had gathered around the scene and they helped use move the car by lifting those heavy rocks and finally getting the car on four wheels. Need to mention here that even the traffic cop helped us lifting the rocks. We cleared the road partially so traffic can continue in two lanes. 

After this was done, two policemen came to the scene (this must be familiar to you if you watch enough Bollywood movies :P ). They started the investigation, they took the driver's license of my friend and told us that they've to seize the vehicle. This was an indirect way of asking for the bribe. We were not sure if this was legal or not (considering no-one was injured and no public-private property was damaged, apart from our own car of course). They stopped one crane (which was happened to be going somewhere by the same road) and told us to move the car where it can be safely parked. That crane moved the car not more than 200meters and charged us 1000 bucks.

Point behind writing this post is that I met many types of people that day

1. People who don't think of other people's lives while doing their job
2. People who ignored 
3. People who instructed us on what to do
4. People who "actually" helped us
5. A cop who wanted to do his duty
6. Cops who wanted to take advantage of the situation
7. People who wanted to make some money.

I was really surprised that how people can see an accident as an opportunity to earn some money and show off their power. I think every accident story has these kinds of characters. I would like to see all people except the type 4 disappear from the earth some day. 

Few shayaris

Today I came across a post on Facebook. And all the shayaris it had, touched my heart. And I couldn't resist sharing them. I don't know who the shayar is (probably he is Piyush Mishra) 

सोचता हू कि धोखे से जहर दे दु | 
सभी ख्वाहीशोन्को दावतपे बुला के || 

रातोंको चलती रहति ही है mobile पे उंगलिया | 
सीनेपे किताब रखके सोये काफी वक़्त हो गया || 

सुकून मिलता है दो लफ्ज़ कागज़ पे उतार कर |
चीख भी लेता हु और आवाज भी नहीं आती || 

हर इंसान बिकता है इस दुनिया मे |
कितना महंगा या सस्ता ये उसकी मजबूरियाँ तय करती है  || 

आज मैंने फिर से जज़बात भेजें | 
तुमने फिर अल्फ़ाज ही समझें  || 

ख्वाहिशोंको जेब में रखकर निकला कीजिये जनाब | 
खर्चा बहोत होता है, मन्ज़िलोंको पाने में  || 

ज़िन्दगी का फलसफा भी कितना अज़ीब है | 
शामे कटती नहीं और साल गुजरते जाते है ||  

ना जाने कब खर्च हो गये, पता ही न चला, वो लम्हे | 
जो छुपा कर रखें थे जीनेके लिए  ||

ये उम्र कुछ कहा  मैंने, शायद तूने सुना नहीं | 
तू छीन सकती है बचपन मेरा, पर बचपना नहीं  || 

क्या फायदा आधी रात को उठनेसे | 
जब सपने भी wrong number जैसे हो || 

वो काम भला क्या काम हुआ जो मज़ा न दे whiskey का | 
और वो इश्क़ भला क्या इश्क़ हुआ जिसमे ना मौका सिसकी का | 

कितने दिल थे जो गये पथ्थर | 
कितने पथ्थर थे जो सनम ठहरे || 

इक इतवार ही है, जो रिश्तोंको संभालता है | 
बाकी दिन किश्तोंको संभालने में खर्च हो जाते है || 

अजीब दस्तूर है मोहब्बत का |  
रूठ कोई जाता है, टूट कोई जाता है  || 

कुर्सी है कोई जनाज़ा तो नहीं | 
कुछ कर  नहीं सकते तो उतर क्यों नहीं जाते || 

Saazish-e-kaynaat

Do you ever observe that some day you are getting lots of calls, messages from your lots of friends. Everybody is being nice with you, helping you out, making you laugh, behaving like they truly care about you and making you feel like the king of the world. 

On the other hand, some other day, people are not behaving nicely with you. Talking rudely with you. Not even replying to your messages even after reading them (thanks to WhatsApp ;) ). Making you depressed, sad. Making you feel alone.

Just to clear something, it's not about people's individual behavior but the same behavior across multiple people who are not related at all. Why people simultaneously behave nice or bad with you :/. There has to be some good reason behind that. Or is it not at all related with people but with myself? Maybe my mood becomes my eye of perceiving the world. That will surely explain few things like the behaviour of people towards me. They are behaving usually but I'm perceiving them differently according to my mood; good or bad. 

But this won't explain why, on some day, people's unusual number of calls and messages (statistically abnormally :P). I can't figure out this scientifically. Maybe there are some things which can't be explained (or it's just some coincidence and I'm thinking way too much about it :D ). I call this "Saazish-e-kaynaat" :B .

Do you ever observe this??

Put yourself in their shoes or try to be a human!

I recently had the privilege(?) to visit the police station (:/). Not that I'm a criminal type, I went for my passport verification. Just to make it clear I'm just a normal type of guy who is afraid to face the police (despite what they say "police are your friends").

I was waiting there in Police station for the police inspector (No comments! :/). Another girl with her mother was waiting there as well. The girl was well educated as she was MS aspirant (in U.S. of course) & mom was educated too, as she was calling herself ma'am on the phone (don't ask me why nor do I know).

Believe me, waiting in the police station can be a nightmare, not that it is waiting but you've to listen to the problems what people face (and you feel sad if you have a heart). There was another girl, who was pregnant, and her mother. They had a complaint against her father. Unfortunately, her father used to beat her (despite her being pregnant) and her mother. She was telling the inspector how he beats them, mentally tortures them. Not that this was new to me, domestic violence was all around my neighbourhood (mostly because of drinking habits of husbands and more because of male ego), but it still makes me (and it should) feel pity for people who suffer because of it, those wives and children.

During this, I happen to notice the girl and her mother who had come for police verification. And to my surprise, they were looking at that them and were laughing at them. I was literally furious at them. How can you laugh at other people's problems? How can you? Everybody have their own domestic problems to cry for. I'm sure that so called educated girl and her mother had as well. Maybe her husband never beat her (he should :P) mostly because educated people try to be sophisticated (though it doesn't make them sophisticated). If you can't have sympathy for others just try not to laugh at them at least. I gave them disgusting look (that's what I could do). I think her mother felt a little bit of shame and stopped laughing and grinning. But that was never going to change their thinking.

Some people are just happier when others are in problem. And that confirms we are evolved from animals and few of them forgot to evolve as humans. :(

Small things matter!

Did you ever had that feeling when you have lost interest in everything? You think your life is nothing but vain? You are tired of sleeping, tired of eating, tired of going to the office, even tired of watching a movie or listening to the music. You don't want to face people either. I really wonder where in the hell this state of mind comes from. You are just asking your mind, or brain or heart, what exactly do you  want? Is your sub conscious mind playing game with you? Maybe :/. 

Sometimes this does happen to me; I am so happy and there's nothing significant happened in my life which could make me happy. And sometimes I am sad, and nothing had happened which could make me sad. Sometimes I ignore; sometimes I retrospect and when I do that I find the reason of my happiness or sadness. And that reason is very worthless, like I've listened some favorite song on radio or someone had said some good words to you or someone had done some small act which have made me happy or sad.

Do I over-think every situation? (I'm 99.99% sure, I do :/ ). But most of the time it sub-consciously happens. Maybe it has become my habit to over-think every other situation (consciously or sub-consciously). Every small thing in my life matters to me, especially when it comes to the people. Like a friend who did not wait for me for lunch; for most people it is small thing but for me it can be heart breaking situation (little bit exaggeration :P, or it can be real when that person is my crush :D ). Maybe I do some nice things for people and I expect the same in return. (I really want to get rid of this habit of expecting from others)

But on the other hand I strongly believe these small things, these small actions, do tell you something about that person. Whether he is ignorant about others, whether he/she thinks only about himself/herself, whether he/she is self-centric, or other people are as well important for him/her. I have found this to be very true.

But lately I am getting more insight to this. It cannot be only criteria to judge people. People's behavior change according to situation, opposite person, their mindset, their mood at that time. For perfect person (here, by perfect person I mean, who thinks critically, and for whom his behavior doesn't change according to his feelings towards opposite person), you can judge him by his actions. But as such person does not exist on earth (as far as I know and as far as they say) actions cannot be exact reflection of the person. But it can surely give glimpse of his personality.

Art of Making People Happy

We are taught lots of things in our schools, colleges and home. But the most important skills that are very necessary for life are always left out. How to behave with people, how to be happy, how to be a good person and lots of others. I am not being all philosophical here. And I don't think philosophy is involved here at all. Often small truths which everyone agrees but requires a little bit of efforts are ignored and left aside. For the same reason that they require some effort (doesn't matter if it's less or more effort). People want to go with the flow and they chose to stay idle. They don't want to do anything beyond what pleases them or they are getting something in return for that. (And I'm no exception here :D )

Our ego plays very important part in all of this. We don't behave good with strangers and people we love (or should I say, especially with the people we love) and we lose them bit by bit. And here, by behaving good I mean doing few things pro-actively which are not required. It can make someone happy. If your friend/colleague is looking sad; do people go and ask him/her why she is sad? Or how many people really do care (if he or she is not that close)? What we really need to think is that it is what differs human from rest animal species. If you wanna be happy in your life I think the most important thing you should learn in your life is "how to make people happy".

And I have learnt that making someone happy is not that hard at all. If you don't know a person that much, act of saying good morning, asking how was their weekend, having cup of coffee with them surely makes good bonding between you. If you know each other very well, gifting something small, giving them sweets/chocolate surely helps. I'm not giving you advise on how to make people happy, I'm giving just examples that these small things do make lots of difference.

To conclude, I have to clear one thing. Isn't it obvious that these things are simple. But why it is hard for me to incorporate these. Maybe I have an ego problem. I get it, I just can't incorporate it. And does that mean, people from whom I expect these kind of things are not so different than me? 

(Not the expected ending, is it? :( )

Being a good person is necessary!

This happened very recently, one of my friend helped a colleague in one task. She didn't even go for lunch that day. And finally when the task was done by her, he took the code and presented the code to his seniors as his own. He didn't even care to tell that he took help from that girl. Not that his code would've got rejected but he did so. This either means one of two things: craziness about taking the credit or somebody didn't taught him a thing called courtesy. Do you remember something like that happened to you; you went to government bank, or some Puneri shop?

I see lot many people who have very wrong attitude towards people. Courtesy, helping others, even saying some good words are alien for some people. I used to think that all these people you encounter are bad people, but now I think they are not bad. They are just ignorant about their behaviour, they just don't realize their attitude is wrong (in that sense they are just an idiot who don't want to improve himself, and is happy with his/her current situation).

I was attending this soft skill training program at my office which includes English training as well some inter-personal, behavioural training etc. Management made it mandatory for all employees. The immediate response of everybody was that, why do we need such a training? Don't we communicate with our client on day to day basis. Do you think we can't speak English? Even I thought the same, it's just waste of time (waste of productive hours :P ). But when I started attending this class the first thing that struck my mind was why didn't I had this training in my school/college. This kind of training should be made compulsory in school.

We are not taught inter-personal skills, how to develop a good attitude, how to improve your personality. Do you remember any subject that taught you any of these? Answer is NO. We take these things very lightly and expect this things to be taught by society. You create a good person and then teach him maths, geography, history or whatever. 

Also these things start from very small things, like you message someone and that person sees your message (Thanks to Whatsapp for the feature ;)) and don't reply you back. Same goes with the call. I agree these things may not matter as such but if we take care of these smaller things we will certainly take care of big ones'.

And I guess this is what separates us from other animals.